Monday, October 31, 2011
I have been hacked!!
I did not put the audio on here! I don't know how to get rid of it without deleting the whole blog.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
For Sale Golden Retriever:
Had for 9 months has yet to retrieve any gold. Should have just bought metal detector.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
My girlfriend left me because she thinks I'm crazy.
I'm beginning to regret all the effort I put into protecting her from the king of the potato people.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I wish I had a "friend with benefits."...
But the friend would own a liquor store, and the benefits would be free booze!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Maybe it is time to mow the yard...
My Son said the grass is so high he lost something in the yard. I said "what did you lose?" He said, "the swingset!"
Monday, August 8, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
I will be good tonight... I will be good tonight... I will be good tonight...
Yeah, I didn't believe it either.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I watched Snoop Dog chase his tail for 10 minutes, and thought "WOW, dogs are so easily entertained!"
I then realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Elevator Fun!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I'm thankful that I don't have a "swear jar" today.
That son-of-a-bitch would be filled right to the top.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Cleaning Time!
"That Can't Be Good"
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
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